My pain

Hia there, you might be thinking, this is a different topic. It’s not kinda inspirational like the ones before… hehe, yah, it’s not. So, what can I share with you guys who have the same question on your mind? All I can say is, yes, it’s true, it’s over!

To be honest, I’ve never cried so much in my life… hehe, but I also know this is a phase that I must go through like all the others who have gone through this before me. Painful indeed as they say, but I never knew it could hurt with so much extent.

I’ve never loved so much with all my heart and never gave so much patience the way I did with him. The effort given, the sacrifices made and the loyalty I tried to hold on too, I guess, just wasn’t enough. Sometimes, I say to myself, if it was the LOVE I thought it would be, it wouldn’t matter distance or time because LOVE that’s true prevails despite absence. The heart that longs for a partner to spend a life-time together wouldn’t allow anything, or anyone to influence the love they share. I don’t deny that the flesh has its temptations, but a strong man, whom I believe does exist, has self-control beyond what the world say is impossible.

As I look in the heavens, and cry out to Jesus, my Father… I can’t help but cry, not because I regretted loving, but because the love I gave was exactly the kind of love I knew He would of wanted me to bear and go through, so that I can grow stronger not just in body and mind but in SPIRIT. It’s hard for me to say these words without enduring pain, but I try my best not too so that those who will face the same circumstance would understand that they are not alone.

I hope you don’t pity me, to those who read this, think of this as a turning point in my life. A chapter has ended, and a new chapter is about to begin… but before God continues to write my story, I think He’s allowing the agonist to rest for a while and think of ways to mold her to be more of HIM, so that in the new chapter of the book, she’d be stronger and renewed for an exciting new challenge she would face.

As I exit for now, I want you to know that my former love hasn’t gone away from me he’s still in my heart… placed in a compartment that no one else could replace, a place where memories that made us who we are now can be kept, for a life time. I will keep it locked up for now and put it aside, so that I could open up the bigger part of my heart to those who need me most… my friends, my family and most of all my JESUS.

If you read this guys, I hope you gained insight on the twists and turns of love, but do remember this verse, 2 CORINTHIANS 12:9 and I quote, “My grace is sufficient for you, for MY POWER is made PERFECT in weakness.” I will always have faith in Gods plans, and pray that may you have faith in His plans as well… It’s not over for me, but a new beginning…

Where is my comfort

As I ponder on the many circumstances the Lord has allowed to happen in my life, I realized that I’m so blessed, not just because I have what I have now, but because I was spared from a lot of painful situations that others were able to go through. But then again, as I empathize on their behalf, I can still feel the pain…

I don’t know if my words will be able to mend a broken heart, or sooth the pain of a wound of a broken family, or even uplift a person with shattered dreams, but one thing I know is true, despite the painful circumstance, the JESUS who loves us, knows what we are going through and has wide arms open for us to call on Him and seek rest and comfort.

I bet some of you are questioning, “If Jesus loves us so much, then why would He allow this to happen to me?!”… With all honesty, I do question that sometimes and get upset when things don’t happen the way I want it to. But as we look back… in the things that we did, did we even think of Jesus when we did it?! Or did we only think of pleasing ourselves with our actions?

I do believe God has an awesome plan for each of us, but to be able to follow it, we have to go to Him and seek Him first… the reason why, I believe, we get frustrated and blame God with the things that happen in our life is because we don’t realize that what happens to us is also the consequence of OUR OWN action and not because God planed that to happen. Our awesome God is to loving to allow us to bear pain more than what we can bear (I Corinthians 6:16) and though the situation we face maybe the painful consequence of our own action, He’s still there, and He doesn’t give up on us even if we’ve given up on ourselves.

For all of us who have endured pain and are enduring pain, we have COMFORT to lean on, and that’s Jesus. Don’t think Jesus doesn’t care because He does and if there was anybody on this world who could understand what it means to feel pain and loneliness, it would be Him… Remember, though things don’t happen the way we want it to, don’t feel hopeless because we have a heavenly Father to lean on to and by His grace and love, He’ll twist and turn those heartaches into conquered battlefields with triumphant victories that made us a better person today.

I Corinthians 12:9 says and I quote, “My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.”… Always have faith in Him because He will always be faithful to you.